Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
