I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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