so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
