Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
