Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize