My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
