Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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