I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
