Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
