You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
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