yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
