I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
