No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize