He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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