I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
