It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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