listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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