rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
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