Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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