i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dear god my vagina.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
