So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
