He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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