I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
