I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
