I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
In America we eat man semen.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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