i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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