I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
