Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize