Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
