I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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