i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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