Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
