everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize