Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
