Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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