He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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