Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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