Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
