I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
