Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So here I am, sexting at work.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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