Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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