if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
