playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
