Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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