I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
