He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
