Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
pray to the hookup gods
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
