you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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