idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
