i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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