Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need to sanitize my soul.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
