I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize