he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
