I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
