It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
