How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
