we have pet lesbian snakes
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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