I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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