also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
