It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
