There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
