that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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