he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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