fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
