im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sext me about skeletons
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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