Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize