Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize